Snap Out Of It
by fangirlamanda
Summary: "It's easier for me to feel nothing at all than it is to feel too much," Based on the promo for 2x11


**A/N: Hey guys! So, I was outraged by the promo for 2x11 because apparently, my precious son can't catch a break ever. Anyways, this is probably a mess but whatever. I pushed through my writer's block to get it done, so I hope you guys enjoy! Be sure to review to let me know what you thought of it!**

To say the day had been hell was an understatement of epic proportions. Emily's emotions were like a game of Jenga, as she only became more unstable as the day went on. She'd started off strong, not alerting anyone to how sleep deprived she was, but she'd had over a year of experience in that field. Things became rocky when she was called to the PEOC to see a video of Aaron and Agent Wells with guns to their heads being played on the large screens. Immediately after watching it the President had asked her a question to which she didn't respond. She'd been too busy trying to choke back a scream of anguish.

She'd never liked Aaron going into the field. Though she'd never admit it to anyone, she was always worried about something bad happening. This time she'd been right.

The president had asked her if she was okay, causing her to force her emotions to the back of her head as usual, and she assured him she was fine.

After the first close call, she just turned it off. It was easier to not care at all than to care too much. Emily put on her mask and let no one see what was behind it.

However, someone else in the West Wing had done the exact opposite that day. Kendra. She often tried to keep her emotions at bay, but unlike Emily, no one ever wondered if her humanity had faltered. Today, however, she wasn't hiding anything. She knew Aaron fairly well, but she had gotten closer to Agent Wells during the First Lady's investigation. It was obvious that Kendra was worried, as she should be, and none knew that better more than Emily.

"Any new developments?" Kendra asked her for probably the third time as they walked into Emily's office.

"None that I've heard," Emily said, exasperated. "Why do you even care so much?"

"The real question is why don't you?" she demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.

"What?"

"Emily, you've been heartlessly indifferent about this entire situation. If they put a bullet in Aaron's head right now, you wouldn't even blink."  
Emily didn't respond. The thoughts of that actually happening pushed their way into her mind, and her hands began to shake as she tried to block them out.

"I have to be professional, Kendra. You know that," she explained, her voice shaky as well.  
"Oh, don't give me that crap. You aren't acting professional, you're acting like a stone cold-"

"I suggest you not finish that sentence," Emily interrupted.

"Don't try and deny it. You. Don't. Care."

"I do care!" she nearly yelled, tears welling in her eyes. "That's the problem! Why the hell do you think I try to distance myself from him? I care too much! It's-"

She tried so hard to finish her sentence, but it wasn't to be. Emily buried her face in her hands in an attempt to stop the sobs.

"It's what?"

Emily looked up after a moment, eyes red and face splotchy.

"It's easier for me to feel nothing at all than it is to feel too much,"

"I get that, Emily. It's like that for everyone, but feeling is just a part of being human. If you turn it off, you lose your humanity."

"I know, but the President needs someone strong, now more than ever,"

"Emotions don't equal weakness. They should motivate you to do the things you need to do, not cause you to shut down," Kendra explained, her voice far softer than it had been before. "I have work I need to do,"

She turned and began to walk away.

"Kendra," Emily called out, causing her to turn around. "Thank you, for snapping me out of it,"

The woman simply nodded before exiting, leaving Emily all alone. She was thankful for the time to herself, because she needed it. It gave her time to let her emotions out, and that she did. She hadn't cried like that in a while. The truth of the matter was this, she loved him, plain and simple. She'd tried her hardest to distance herself from him, but now he was a world away with his life on the line and all she wanted was to be with him again.

Hours passed by at a snail's pace after she regained her composure. She spent almost all her time in the PEOC, trying to figure out what to do as the clock ticked down. Ultimately, they were able to find the location of where Aaron, Agent Wells, and the rest of the hostages were being held due to the terrorists failing to destroy the tracking chip on Aaron's government phone. Navy SEALs stormed the camp and managed to rescue everyone.

Emily was incredibly on edge during the entire rescue operation, which was being watched live from the PEOC, and she nearly wept when she saw Aaron on the screen. She wished there was some way for her to call him, as it wouldn't be until the next morning that they arrived back in the States, but she couldn't. Kirkman ordered her home almost immediately afterward, and Emily had a surprisingly easy time going to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, Emily woke up feeling anxious. She was ready to see Aaron again but had no clue what she was going to say to him when she did. During the drive into work, she tried to come up with things to say, and she'd gotten nearly an entire speech planned out by the time she arrived. However, when she entered his office and saw him standing there, every coherent thought she had was gone.

He didn't look as bad as he had during the rescue. He looked less rough without the dirt and grime on his face, but in its place were bruises, scrapes, and a few stitches above his left brow. His right arm was also in a sling, his bicep neatly wrapped in gauze.

She only stood there for a moment before rushing over and practically flinging herself at him, still making sure to avoid his bad arm. Emily threw her arms around his torso and held him as close to her as possible. Aaron was clearly taken aback at first, but he soon wrapped his good arm tightly around her.

"Hey, Em," he sighed into her hair.

She pulled away, resting her hands on the sides of his neck as she quickly examined his injuries.

"Are you okay? What did they do to you?" she asked, her voice a whisper as her eyes began to tear up.

"Just a few cuts and bruises here and there," he assured her.

"What about your arm?"  
"Oh, that," Aaron said with a slight cringe. "One of the guys was pressing me for information, and I told him he could go to hell, so he kinda just, you know, shot me,"

"Oh my god," Emily mumbled, her lip beginning to quiver.

"Hey," he said, cupping her face with his good hand. "I'm okay though. I'm gonna be okay,"

Emily couldn't hold it back any longer. She pressed her lips to his and kissed him like it was the last thing she ever did. He kissed her back, but could barely keep up with her frantic lips. He felt something wet on her cheek and realized that she'd begun crying.

"I'm sorry," she began repeating between kisses.

Eventually, Aaron pulled away.

"What are you sorry for, Em?" he wondered.

" _Everything_ ," she blurted, tears streaming freely down her cheeks. "Aaron, I pushed you away for months, I made you think I didn't care, I let you think I didn't love you,"

"Emily," he said, trying to stop her.

"And now, now you're hurt,"

"Emily,"

"And I feel like there's something I could've done to-"

"Emily!" Aaron exclaimed, finally silencing her. "This is not your fault," he said, his voice soft. "There's nothing anyone could have done to stop it. But it's over now and I'm okay. And as for all of those other things, they're behind us now. None of that matters to me anymore. The only thing that matters is that we're here now, we're alive, and we're together. _I love you_ , and that's all that matters."

"How can you still love me, Aaron? After all the times I've hurt you?"

"Because that's what love is, being able to forgive. Emily Rhodes, I love you so much more than you will ever realize. I don't care about any of the other stuff. Let the past be the past."

She didn't respond, kissing him again, but slower this time. When they pulled away he rested his forehead against hers.

"I love you too, Aaron Shore, _so_ , so much," she whispered.

"To me, that's all that matters,"

Emily wrapped her arms around him again, listening to his steady heartbeat. It was the most comforting sound she'd ever heard.

 _They would be okay, and she would make sure of it._


End file.
